Brush your teeth!!

Mornings, why are they so very difficult?! And when I say 'mornings' I actually mean between the hours of 6am and 9am! 

My children know our routine, it's been taking place since day dot and never changes and never will (well, until they can be responsible for themselves and I can just stay in bed drinking tea!). So tell me why oh why oh why, every morning do I run around like a complete lunatic shouting at them-Where  are your socks? Have you cleaned your teeth? Have you brushed your hair? Where is your reading book? Why have you got your pyjamas on still?! These questions are not asked just once each morning but at least 3 or 4 times to each child and with me gradually getting more and more fraught with each request! This, of course, is as well as wrestling with The 3 year old because she WILL NOT get dressed and if she does she generally likes to take 3 hours to select an outfit and even then  I'm not sure it's completely acceptable for her to leave the house in a ballet leotard, no knickers  and her baby brothers wellies in February is it?! And running around after the baby because mid nappy change, as i was distracted shouting requests to the boys, he has escaped-undressed and weeing everywhere! Give me strength!

My Older two have recently cottoned on to the fact that I am so busy with the younger two that if they just say 'yes' to the shouted requests then I will leave them alone and they can get on with whatever game/tv watching they want thus ensuing complete mad panic when it is actually time to leave and no one has actually done any of these things!

If, by some form of absolute miracle we are all actually ready and standing at the door at 8.20 ready to pile into the car and make the 20 minute journey to school so as to actually arrive, I give  the older 2 my car keys and specific instructions to get in the car and wait (how hard is that?!) I then manhandle the younger two out onto the drive (plus any baggage they have) only to discover the other two having a full on game of football (or some other such game) in the freezing cold and rain and on the waterlogged, muddy as a pigsty lawn and are filthy (and it usually is a 'clean uniform' day) cue the little ones escaping my grasp shrieking with delight at some early morning fun and so also cue 20 seconds later and two more children covered in mud, obviously by this time it's far to late consider getting everyone changed (and to be honest I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to find any clean ironed uniform anyway!) so everyone piles in the car filthy with me shouting and no one actually taking a blind bit of notice!  We then drive to school at top speed with everyone quiet and remorseful for about 5 minutes before full chaos is restored and everyone is arguing over what music to listen to and who is supposed to be putting their feet where (my car is actually too small for 4 growing children really but seeing as driving is a newly acquired skill I don't trust myself with anything bigger because then I'd never be able to park outside school, but that's a whole nother blog!) and we finally arrive, they fall out the car and I bundle them into school as the doors are literally closing so as not to get a 'late' mark and give the teachers any more reason to think I am a mother who is not in control!

I then get back in the car let out a huge sigh of relief, consider keeping vodka in the glove box and swear to myself that tomorrow morning is going to be so much calmer........... 

The day I got Id'd

So at the start of this new year I decided, clearly quite foolishly, to be 'alcohol free' for the entirety of January. My glass of wine is the highlight of my day, signifying my wind down and kid free time and I have a glass (ok two!) every single night without fail so to give this up was a huge step.......
Well, I managed a week (no willpower obviously)!!! So now I have decided to only drink at the weekend (Friday is part of the weekend right?!).
Last Friday after one of THE most shocking weeks in my history of motherhood I decided I needed a bottle of wine and so after the afternoon school run (not sure why I decided to go WITH all the kids but I was obviously pretty desperate by this point) the kids and I all trundled into the supermarket-this in itself is no mean feat, trying to steer all 4 children past the vast display of Easter chocolate, sweets, books, crisps and balloon, prising items out of little hands and putting them back on any old shelf we were near......several tantrums later and armed with a bottle of wine (yay!) we were finally at the checkout and I was hoping for a hasty exit back out and merrily on our way home (where I could bask in the happiness of the bedtime countdown because I actually had wine tonight!) when the checkout operator ASKED ME FOR ID!!!!
 I must have stared at her dumbfounded (remember it was Friday, I'd had a shocking week, I had 4 kids in tow, I was tired and haggard and have never looked further from my actual age let alone 18?!), she asked me again and I pointed out all my children scattered around me and sitting on the end of the checkout throwing all the leaflets on the floor, all of them who look very like me and the eldest of which is nearly 10 and extremely tall! She just said rather shirtily "Well for all I know you could have borrowed them in order to make you look older so as to be able to buy wine"
eh?! Have you met my kids (loud, boundless energy and at this point in the day particularly poorly behaved and absolutely filthy!)no one would 'borrow' them-in fact I'm pretty sure they'd rather go without the wine than do that!
Anyway, after much disagreement and an eventual showing of my driving license we were safely back in the car, wine safely in the boot.
Don't even get me started on what I would have done if I had been denied the wine!!! (I am making all alcohol purchases through online companies now so it is always there on a Friday chilled and waiting and no one will accuse me of 'borrowing' feral children ever again! (Well, until I forget  the online order and the only thing for it is a mad after school dash!).

My first ever blog!

So.... This is my first ever blog although I have been deliberating doing one for ages. I have finally decided to take the plunge more as a form of therapy to be honest as so many crazy, ridiculous things seem to happen in my day with the kids that I figure at least if I write it down it might help me to see the funny side rather than tear my hair out or pack my bags and leave them all to it (as I feel all too regularly!).for example, last week my week consisted of particularly horrendous tea times (screaming kids-the little ones-and dinner all over the floor), running out of petrol and losing my purse, wrestling a screaming 3 year old and baby in the pouring rain to school and then falling flat on my backside! (I know-so graceful!), falling off my chair in a crowded restaurant whilst telling off the 9 year old!!

Hopefully it will work and I will have something to look back on in the future!
Just need to figure out how to add pics and I'll be on a roll!

Anyway, need to stop hiding in my room trying to figure this thing out and go and put the boys to bed and cook something for husbands tea and pretend to be 'woman in control'!